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30 10 2021

Have you ever woke up hating yourself for waking up to continue your living? Been there, most of the time, every day for months. But people won't understand how tired I am, with this kind of condition. I know it's not good to wish something bad for your own self, believe me, I don't want to but I can't bear to fight for another day. Here, is the place, and most of it, with people who never reach out their hand to pull me out when I'm drowning and suffocating.  How I wish there's no tomorrow for me, so I will stop feeling miserable. How I wish I will stop having feelings so there's no more heartache and suffocating of my own feeling that I myself don't understand about it and I wish not to. How I imagine putting myself in somewhere that I can be free with. I know, some people won't understand how it feels when you can't run and have to swallow whatever you feel that you can't express in words. You can't express it to anyone, even to yourse

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